Courageous and bold I release a dictation subtle reply is a confusing stipulation must I acquiesce or battle on but a duo must sing a duo’s song. Two strangers remain forever strange even though it’s all connected. MR, 8/4/11
I wish to conquer the world, But I am stuck here; The path I am on, Unable to veer. Inside this cube Trapped for this fate My will be done I contemplate. If I could do But one thing, I’d leave it all Without looking back. Upon the droves Of measured risk There would be no more SenseLess Fate. But rather now, In this time, I’d lose myself In needed rhyme And exist somewhere So far between Vexed of nothing My joy is seen. But alas, I know, This path I tread, Will take me from life, To walk with the dead. - 9/8/08 MR
Sometimes when I lie awake at night, My head is filled with dreams, with fantasies – Insatiable desires of the heart. I often envision myself In front of thousands, no, Tens of thousands Singing my praises. I’m receiving the Pulitzer prize, Turning those cold hearts pure And moving the most stern to tears. Or, I’m holding my guitar And reverberating smooth songs And experimental chords to the masses. Yes, in those dreams I am Something. In those dreams, I am Someone… In those dreams.
Cascading down my world enthrones Dissipation and Massacre; I cannot stand For another minute To witness this Fucked up Macabre. So many times I have grown and lived Yet today I slowly pass; No matter how I try to persevere, I’m brought low by my own cordial Ambition. It constantly haunts me and calls me low Cursing the very existence of apathy- But you see, It is not apathy, but only deep reflection, To make sure that the ambition I seek, Is truly what I want. - 11/22/09, MR
Desolation haunts this lonely soul- Unto myself has it lived. Encompassing that which drove me vexed In unwanted subtleties. But upon your face, My being was renewed, a purpose restored- As surely as I exist, A life saved. Now the world around me Beams with new radiant joy Filling my soul, filling my heart With new found love. 10/29/08, MR
I cannot press delete on the files in my mind. But only hope that they fade with sands of time. There is so much dirt I wish I did not come to hold, I expected so much more- but I’m not perfect, so I’m told. So I pray in this moment where I struggle against self, ‘God forgive and guide me and restore my mental health.’ - MR, 2/19/11
This soul has its wings And flies with winds of its own That arise from the ends of the earth From which no man should come. To places it ventures Places heard of only in nightmares past Of men whose struggles were known to many But understood by so few. There I will travel And make a new home But you must come to realize It is not where I wish to reside. Against my will I am carried To those distant skies and arid lands Where no life can exist but only death. This is my existence; this is my hell.